It implies the defeated acknowledgment that if things aren’t better by now, they won’t be getting better. At another level, middle-aged suicide-the vanquishing of someone who has fought off the urge for decades-is especially catastrophic. At one level, the suicide of young people is obviously more tragic than the suicide of older people youths have more of life ahead of them, more of a chance to work things out. Suicide is not a casual behavior for all that it may entail impulsivity, it is also a profound and momentous step for which many people don’t have the force of will. Nor is suicide an ultimate manifestation of “selfishness” or “cowardice,” as the reason-mongers often argue. So he would have had little “reason” to commit suicide-as, indeed, most people who kill themselves have little “reason” other than depression (unipolar or bipolar), which is at the base of most suicide. His newest TV series was cancelled a few months ago, but his reputation as one of the great performers of our time remained untarnished. He was on his third marriage, but it appeared to be a happy one, and he seems to have been close to his children. Yes, he fought addiction, but he had been largely sober for quite a while. But Robin Williams does not seem to have had any of these problems. Why would a person with so much of what the rest of us want choose to end his life? Since there are always things going awry in every life at every moment, the explanation industry usually tells us that the person had a disastrous marriage, or was a hopeless addict, or had just experienced a major career disaster, or was under the influence of a cult. Such rationalization is particularly common when it comes to the suicides of celebrities, because the idea that someone could be miserable despite great worldly success seems so unreasonable. When the mass media report suicide stories, they almost always provide a “reason,” which seems to bring logic to the illogic of self-termination. And that is the thing, that is the gift.” Aitkenhead saw this as sentimental, but in grim retrospect it points to someone who struggled against his fear of his own sorrow, someone who was afraid, perhaps, because he understood the potential that unhappiness had to subsume everything else about him. She asked Williams whether he was getting happier, and he said, “I think so. He seems gentle and kind-even tender-but the overwhelming impression is one of sadness. His bearing is intensely Zen and almost mournful, and when he’s not putting on voices he speaks in a low, tremulous baritone-as if on the verge of tears-that would work very well if he were delivering a funeral eulogy.
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